Again, one more time, I am tapping at your door, you have no choice but to accept me and I know you will. Is it my love for you which endows me with such immense confidence or is it your love towards me which accepts me regardless of any circumstances? May be I will assume, love is always reciprocal. Presuming this ideology gives me a certain amount of contentment, sometimes inexplicable pleasure.
When my voyage towards my destiny appears to be never-ending, the intelligent mind residing in me reminds me that if the destiny can be achieved so early what will be my purpose remaining of life after that? These moments I feel your need beside me, and to my amusement I never have to search for you as you are always with me. In my pain, in my gain, in my weary days of failures, I never have to search for you. Your presence is the only constant truth of my life and it will always be. My tendency to experiment around never leaves me in peace but gives me the immense pleasure to cherish my life to its brim. May a decade after, when I will find quite a few sliver glitters in my hair strands, I might find myself to be imprudent enough to toy around with my life’s biggest decisions but how helpless I find to restrain my urge to know more , to grow more. My wanderlust provokes me to sail around but when the wind blows against my direction I feel terrified, I question my abilities and I doubt my capabilities to know the proper direction. But as the truth of a sailor’s life, the destination is known to the sailor and no one else, so the wind can blow in any direction, the ship reaches only to the harbor and the fate of the ship is decided by the sailor not the wind. My only grievance to my life is, the lives which are connected to me, experience my failures with me, they get more affected than me, but one cannot change his/her trait. A habit can be changed but not a characteristic. I have learned to accept people the way they are and I expect the same from them. May be time will play its role now. At times life comes to a deadlock and I find no way to escape from that, but how can I ever forget it’s my own life, its controlling thread lies within me, I cannot give it’s charge to anyone else. The day I will do that I will prefer to see an end of my life. For me anyone else taking control of my life gives me nightmares, the idea of it makes me crippled and I prefer death over being crippled and I truly mean it.
This article has come after a long gap, and it is just a warming session before posting few more. So I will leave this article to a decent looking length and would concentrate more on the other essays.
