History Revisited

   

      It’s really been quite a while; I am restraining myself from my lately acquired passion, the very common excuses are “Lack of Time”, busy schedule, hectic life etc etc. We, the writers by passion get the benefit of showing the world that we do lack time as we have got other responsibilities to accomplish but I sympathies the writers by profession, the trouble they face due to the public demands, peer pressure and the pestering publishers. Honestly, there were plenty of ideas swarming in my conscious, unconscious and subconscious mind; in fact I felt the severe urge to pen them down but again got stuck with the worldly requirements, poor ‘me’, ordinary ‘me’, I give excuses like any other living being. Now, at this point, when I have arranged myself for my writing agenda; unexpectedly finding myself in the middle of nowhere battling with my dormant thoughts. Henceforth, decided, not to put the pressure on my pea sized brain and to write randomly.

    People often ask me “Why suddenly?” or “how come suddenly you have started with writing? “, sometimes I prefer answering them with my unnatural modesty that I am just judging my competence of writing, sometimes with the help of a smile, which depicts various meaning  to the opposite person and I again behave like a wise , diplomatic individual. But here, in my blogs, I have decided to behave honest as well as a fool(for readers clarification, honest people are considered to be fool nowadays), I have decided to speak my mind, open my heart and vent out all my haphazard, weird, uncanny thoughts unto this digital media. Since my school days writing essays related to syllabus used to seem a very easy, natural task to me, apart from scoring decent grades I used write for my school magazines, though not in a very noticeable number but still it used to suffice my petite knowledge and expectation. Should I be thankful about non-electronic media that whatever small amount of contribution I did has no trace as on today’s date, or should I feel disheartened? Neither I nor my parents did keep any track of my childhood skill and with course of time I have forgotten that I too can express myself on paper. But somehow, somewhere it was hibernating, and one fine morning I felt the need to write again, thought that as of my age I have experienced, felt and lived enough to express them in words. The writer in me always felt the need to share my thoughts but few years back I assured myself that I knew really little of life to tell the world that “See everyone, this is how I feel, this is how it feels, and this is how it happens”. Still I fear the same that I know nothing of this world but a part of me knows that I know something which could be worth for someone in real need. If I say, who cares for the publicity? Damn me, who doesn’t? Some people declare it some dies with the unfulfilled wish. I don’t want to be counted amongst the later group but provided that fame should do some real good for the one is need, not only me but benefit of my goodwill should serve some purpose for the society. Some complain about my lengthy essays, but people I feel so helpless, I was good in history and literature. Couple of day’s back I had a dreadful dream that I forgot how to write, that dream made me to write again to clarify myself to me “Yes, it’s still there”. Happy me, feel blessed for some petty reasons in my life which portrays no meaning to others, but who cares, as if I do? The impish grin on some faces would appear and there mind will say “this girl has gone insane, there is a limit to be happy for no reason”, but folks, whatever keep me moving I am with that, whatever keep me rising, whatever keep my spirits high I am ready to cost a fortune for that.

     Now, I have decided to do some mercy on my handful of readers and fan followers and put an end for today. A vividly used proverb, “promises are made to be broken”, even I did innumerable times but sharing my thoughts is not performed under any external pressure it is only my mind which reminds me of doing it again, it comes from within. I will be back soon, with the promise,

                                                                                                                                                    Love to all