A Question of a Life

"No one is too young for love, because love doesn't come from your mind, which knows your age, but from your heart, which knows no age.

I apologize to my handful of readers for not keeping my promise, in-fact; I would like to say I broke my promise. My last post was on 25th of June 2010 and today it’s 21st September 2010, i.e. almost two and half months, and I promised to myself and to my readers that my next blog would be posted soon, but I could not. But very typical of me not brooding over the situation and of course not sulking over it, I am planning to replenish my blog again. Writing is always a cherished experience for me. There is always a feeling of immense pleasure when I put down my thoughts on paper, and that is always irrespective of my mental state. Still, sometimes I feel that, I write better in my pensive mood, may be our pain brings out the real self from a human being; it makes you more connected to the universal energy, sorrow in life makes you more connected to your soul. I might be wrong here but my experience says so.

Our life is beautifully divided in different stages, and those different parts depict different sort of experiences. There are some unique joys and sorrows which are introduced us to these stages. As a child, breaking a pencil, spoiling a book or a toy makes a difference to us or simply a scolding from our parents. As we grow up and start going to schools, then we come across few more new people, who are going to play a vital role in our life. The rules, disciplines, exams, and the fun we experience in school and of course our friends in school, influence our lives. We make friends, and enjoy their company and laugh with them and cry when we fight with them as well. Now, at this stage, if I look back, I find those fights, those tears were negligible what we experience now. But, ten years down the lane, the pain we face now, the joy we treasure now would become low in intensity or value. The question can be asked here, why this happens to us. My opinion is it happens because we grow up. The more we know ourselves, the more we learn the secrets of life the more we grow up and these trivial incidents of life become immaterial to us.

May be the time and my age and also the experience I have accumulated till date, made me less reactive to certain social issues. In last one year, I have experienced two deaths of my close relatives who were globally and mentally, staying far from me. So, I did not find any specific reason to morn over it. People sum it up as my hard-heartedness or arrogance but I do not have the spare time convincing people around. There are very few incidents which are really able to stir my heart; it happens only if a person put some mark on my mind or so. I really can’t pretend my emotion for the society’s sake; it could be named as honesty or the haughtiness. Everyone is free to choose the best possible adjective for defining me; I am very much open to criticisms.

There are incidents which still affect me to greater extent. We all fall in love and face the certain ups and down of every relationship and that obviously takes a toll on us. As I inherit some or the other human qualities, I prefer to give my best effort to any of the relations, it could be the love-relationship or the daughter – parents or the siblings love. Each and every relation needs some amount of energy and time of our life. As we know, time and energy both are precious to us. We share love, or else I can say, we love a person for some certain qualities he/she inherits or portrays. The moments spend with them are unique so it cannot be shared or experienced with anyone else. But, life is not always a cake walk for us, we have to face the loss of some relations, we have to face the pain, the harsh reality, that the person, I used to love the most or who used be the world to me are no more with me. But, they say that life moves on, we really cannot sink into the darkness of negativity that is holding us back to take a step in our life, and there are some people who misinterpret moving on. Moving on doesn’t mean jumping from one relation to the other. The amount of time we spend in one relation, the love we experience for the person and the energy we spend for handling the hard times of any relation, needs to be replenished. Love is such a feeling which you cannot extort out from your mind and from your heart. You need to give yourself certain time to subdue the intense emotion, to pacify your soul and prepare yourself for anything new in your life. I have always bragged about my abilities to predict about certain situations in my closed circuit, one of my close friends, got married in a hurry to a person whom she did not love, that also after few failed relationships. In most of the cases I never divulge my own opinion but I told her to think over the matter. Her response was that she wanted to get married because she could not stay alone and of course, her parents were forcing her to get settled in life. May be after a year or half I met her again few days back, and I was not very surprised to know that she got divorced. At spur of the moment, I could not decide how to I react, should I acclaim myself for predicting her married life accurately or should I be upset for knowing the future of it. I am still in the delirium but after a consistent low feeling I have summarized that there is a pin-pricking in my heart, somewhere, somehow I am sighing for my poor friend.

There is no doubt that time would heal her wounds soon and she would be back to her feet again. I wish this incident would be an eye opener for some parents or some of my fellow friends that society cannot decide the time of marriage but only our hearts. We cannot pester a girl to that extent that she takes the most vital decision of her life in frenzy and spoils her life forever. Marriage is the bonding of two hearts not any business tender which has to be signed on some specific date and my hearty request to those people who feel that it’s good to conform to the situation, to think about the so called society rather than the future of the girl. The society which pressurizes the parents if their daughter is not marrying on time , and the parents who are succumbing to the society’s wish and want to get rid of the burden soon, what would be the reaction of them if their daughter doesn’t become happy in her married life? Who would take that responsibility? It’s my ardent request to all those parents who prioritize the society, over their daughter’s life, please do some soul search, and please open your eyes.